Damika “Meko” Kelly is no stranger to sharing her story. She penned her Part tell-all, part cautionary tale, this emotionally charged memoir “Love is Not Pain”. Wanting to always encourage women to find the love for themselves, she has launched the No Shame NOvember Campaign to inspire women to stop shaming themselves.
What inspired the No Shame November campaign?
The No Shame November campaign was birthed after a much needed therapy session. I expressed to my therapist that I didn’t feel “worthy” of my new job of being a mentor and business coach to teen girls because of my past drug addiction and being a former sex worker. My therapist suggested that I stop shaming myself for my past and to view myself as a wife, mother and an entrepreneur who beat the odds and bounced back. Shortly after our session I scrolled on social media and came across a post that read “NO-vember, NO fear, NO guilt, NO shame NOvember” and it clicked… I instantly started thinking of what I’d been harboring and shaming myself for and took it a step further to create a campaign for other people just like me who have a hard time forgiving themselves for their past or who they are in general. This campaign is dedicated to educate about racism, misogyny, body shaming, and other forms of shaming that have a significant impact on us that we do knowingly and unknowingly.
In your opinion, What do you feel is the biggest hurdle those who have gone through a traumatic experience face?
I believe the biggest hurdle survivors of traumatic experiences face is the fear of experiencing trauma again. As a survivor of molestation, rape and domestic violence I’ve put up a barrier between myself and certain people who I feel may trigger me as well as new people I don’t know out of fear that they will bring trauma into my life. I have the same circle of friends that I trust and it’s very difficult for me to make new friends or network in certain circles out of fear that I’ll get hurt again. One of the many reasons I started therapy was to overcome the fear, shame and guilt of traumatic experiences and it’s helping but I am still healing. I also use writing as a form of therapy and writing my memoir “Love is Not Pain” helped me face my past and push me to get help to overcome my fear of loving myself wholeheartedly.
What are 5 things someone can do to overcome shame?
- Forgiveness – forgive yourself and the people who hurt you. You don’t have to reconnect with them but forgive them so they don’t have power over you.
- Create positive affirmations that you read and speak over yourself daily.
- Meditate with music, mindfulness, yoga or some form that you’re comfortable at least 30 minutes a day.
- Start a journal – Write down your feelings and don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself about how you feel.
- Therapy – I can’t express how amazing you’ll feel after talking about your experience and healing from it.
What words of encouragement would you like to share with others?
No matter what you’ve done in the past, there’s always room to grow and make better decisions for yourself. Don’t ever let anyone shame you or guilt you into thinking you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve love and respect. Believe in yourself, follow your heart and love yourself enough to want the best for yourself.
Damika “Meko” Kelly is the author of Love is Not Pain and the CEO of Love Queen Consulting. Meko is a business consultant and investor who serves as a brand manager, business coach and mentor to teen girls and women entrepreneurs. Meko’s story includes a road often paved with pain and heartbreak at the hands of abusive men, prostitution and personal drama. Through it all, Meko prevailed to earn her degree in communications, become a wife and mother, and launch multiple businesses and brands. As a mentor, Meko specializes in overcoming trauma, forgiveness and healing.
Follow Damika “Meko” Kelly at Instagram.com/Mekotheboss